(Based on the book “Emotions and Existence” by Alfred Lenglet)
In this article, we will look at how our attitude towards an event is formed, how to cope with the emotions that are caused by our attitude towards this event. What to do when emotions take over and it is very difficult to think logically, and, most importantly, how to develop a sense of satisfaction with life, how to feel that my life does not pass by, but is full of those events that I want to experience. How to understand that I am on the right path.
The event itself is neutral. How we react to it depends on our attitude towards it. At the same time, we ourselves are able to form our own attitude, one that will be good for us.
The chain: thought-emotion-action leads to negative consequences, when thoughts are negative, respectively, we experience negative emotions. The worst thing is to act impulsively, under the influence of emotions. Nevertheless, it is important to understand and live our emotions. When we understand them, we understand ourselves better.
In many cases, we can cope with our feelings and manage our emotions.
An algorithm for forming your own position regarding feelings.
First of all, we analyze the situation. We examine our thoughts. What do we think in this situation and what do we feel at the same time. If it is fear, distrust, then we should check again - is it true? Based on what did we reach this point? What does it manifest itself in? How much of the 100 percent of fear can actually be realized?
Imagine what will actually happen. If I have these feelings right now (e.g. fear, distrust), what could they lead to? What will I lose?
To think about what is important to me right now. When we turn to the positive, to what is truly valuable to us, we find a solid foundation under our feet.
Fear and distrust are the two strongest basic feelings that stop you. You won’t move forward even a step under the influence of these feelings. And it’s good when you can distance yourself and think logically, honestly answering the questions above. Then you can take a breath and exhale and continue to live, rejoice, easily and freely with a sense of inner peace from the fact that you are valuable and other people are also valuable, only they are different. Then an attitude of acceptance towards our life circumstances is developed and the strength to move on appears.
How to deal with overwhelming emotions.
How to cope when emotions are overwhelming. Of course, we often think that strong negative emotions are very bad for us. However, scientists believe that strong positive emotions over a long period of time are also bad for us.
So, what to do when emotions overwhelm you? When simple methods don't help and you can't calm down by taking a break, or simply breathing, washing your face, or drinking water. How to change your attitude towards an event that you are experiencing very painfully.
Firstly, words and logic won't help here, you need to work directly with the unconscious, namely with images.
Let's consider a practical client case.
The client is experiencing unfair treatment from her boss, feels discriminated against and devalued in her work and as a person. It is very painful and has reached its limit.
The therapist works with the assumption that the boss will not change, and the client does not find it profitable to leave her job now. The salary is good and there are still several financial goals that need to be met. Her Adult believes that she still needs to work. At the same time, emotions are running high and she has no strength to work.
The first therapeutic action is to transfer the client’s beliefs about herself to the boss – of course, this will be the most emotionally charged word. In our case, the client feels like a slave and a thing. We attribute this to the boss (within the therapeutic session under the guidance of a professional therapist, this work is ecological). Then the therapist gives the task to imagine the image of the boss. The client imagined the image of a floor rag, very dirty and with a damp smell.
The therapist asks you to draw this image.
Then the image of the client. The client imagined herself in the image of a bottle of clean, healthy distilled water.
The therapist asks to imagine a third force that will intervene and protect the client, change the situation, and to draw this image.
The client drew her husband between the bottle and the rag.
The therapist asked: how did the third force, in this case, the husband, help her? In our client's case, the husband threw away this rag because it was not even suitable for wiping the floor.
Then the therapist asked: what is the relationship between the client and the third force? Since in our case it is the client's husband, she replied that the husband drinks this clean, healthy water from the bottle and becomes healthier, feels great, and this water contributes to his longevity.
Then we ask the client to imagine the boss in his ideal form. The client imagined it to be a duster, made from an old man's T-shirt, made of cotton and soft.
The client's conclusion: a dust cloth is needed in the household to keep it clean and to make it easier for her to breathe.
A completely new interpretation created a miracle and the client with new strength, easily and calmly returned to her duties. And most importantly, the client's condition changed. Her main words were: the boss is needed to make it clean and easier to breathe. The boss from a usurper and tyrant turned into a rag in the client's mind, which is very necessary in the household.
To summarize: in a strong emotional state, you need to work with images, draw them, describe them in detail and change these images yourself. Only like this. When emotions go overboard, logic is powerless. Moreover, this work is only a stage in which the therapist helped to cope with emotions. The main work is still ahead, in our case, described above, regarding accepting the Other (in particular, the boss) as he is and reacting calmly to his attitude towards something. Respect in relationships is the key to productivity in any interactions. And with the boss, it is necessary to withstand subordination, but in the position of an adult, not a child. This client will still have to learn.
How to develop your intuition?
Emotions often show us that we are going in the right direction. How to separate the wheat from the chaff, how to sort through the whirlwind of feelings and relationships, what emotions signal to us that we are on the right path?
These emotions create a biographical masterpiece. They are what make our lives bright, rich, joyful, and fulfilling.
- What touches and stimulates us without any external motivations, but as if from within, are our life values. This is what fascinates us and is very interesting to us. Feelings are the basis of motivation.
- This is what is important to us now. This is what is right for us.
- To live your life, you need to rely on your feelings, trust yourself.
Want to make sure? Then ask yourself these questions.
Do I really want this, or am I just doing it because others want it? For recognition? To survive?
Do I want to live the way I live now?
And if not: what can I do or what do I need to stop doing so that I want to live like this tomorrow?
And the most important question: is this right for me? Feel your inner feedback.
A person who can rely on their feelings will never be lost. They will always have at least one person by their side – themselves.